Many of us have children with special needs and disabilities or disorders other than autism, so I promise not to monopolize the blog with just ASD. Since it’s still April, however, I’m going to try to spread autism awareness one more time first.
I would like to know your opinion on “autistic” versus “with autism.” I understand person-first language– that an individual might want to be considered “someone who has autism” rather than being characterized as “autistic.” While I understand both sides of the debate, I have spoken with some adults who actually preferred to be called “autistic,” and this is our family’s preference, as well. To me, saying “my son with autism” sounds like he has a disease, something like saying, “my son with cancer.” Saying, “my autistic son,” on the other hand, sounds more like I am just describing a characteristic to describe him, such as “my smart son” or “my curious son.” We do not see autism as a disorder so much as a trait that allows him to see the world differently. No, autism is not always pleasant or easy, but it is also not something to be cured (or that CAN be cured, unlike some celebrities will lead you to believe).
I definitely do not intend to try to speak for every autism parent. It is called Autism SPECTRUM Disorder for a reason. Behaviors and their severity can fall anywhere along a wide spectrum, and can even change within an individual from day-to-day. While Patrick is what many would consider “higher functioning” (for lack of a better term, as I know this is another one not everyone likes), I worked in A.B.A. for two years and in special education in a public school setting for a couple of years, so I know many more severely impaired children, as well, including those who are non-verbal. Some parents prefer not to use this term (“non-verbal”) either, as it implies an inability to communicate, which is not true. Many can use gestures or a few single words orally- or can even carry on profound conversations with the right communication device. An excellent example of this is Carly Fleischmann (www.carlysvoice.com). I suggest you get to know more about this extraordinary individual, as well as the now-famous Temple Grandin (www.templegrandin.com). The movie about her as portrayed by Claire Danes is a very honest picture of what many autism families face. Others with ASD have made a name for themselves in history, including Albert Einstein and Sir Isaac Newton. This just goes to show that we should never put limitations on our children with special needs.
Which leads me back to the term “high-functioning.” I use this term frequently simply because I do not know how to better describe the fact that Patch can speak and do schoolwork and care for his daily needs and will one day hold down a job. “High” and “low functioning” are not positive terms, however. Most of us would not like to be termed “high or low functioning adults” based on facts such as having a full-time job, a college degree, being married, or owning our own homes. What alternatives do you use for these terms?
Not every child with autism is a savant or genius, just as not every child with autism is non-verbal. Whatever their ability, it is perfectly fine. With caring and patient parents, teachers, and therapists (speech, occupational, and applied behavioral analysis- ABA), your child can thrive and live his or her happiest life.
Patrick wanted to introduce himself in a vlog, so here he is: https://patchworks.blog/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/20190430_151514.mp4
PatchWorks Parenting 